Archive for February, 2008

22
Feb
08

Another WTF Moment??

A 51-year-old “walk-on” coach (whether he walked on as a coach or coached walk-ons is unclear) for West High in California has been arrested for what seems to be pretty reasonable behavior.



Policeinvestigators don’t know why Michael Anthony Smith allegedly tied upthe four girls, ranging in age from 13 to 17, on separate occasionsduring the last year and a half, Torrance police Officer Dave Crespinsaid.

In a related story, I could be head detective at the Torrance Police Department tomorrow. 



“(Thestudents) allege that Smith has engaged in inappropriate activity withthem, such as putting tape over their mouths, taping up their hands andfeet, and handcuffing them,” Crespin said. “Thus far in theinvestigation, we’ve found no sex acts to have occurred.” [...]


Detectives arrested Smith on suspicion of false imprisonment, annoying children and sexual battery.


Wow,annoying children are against the law?  This is the best news I’veheard all day.  I can’t stand the brats in my neighborhood.  I’mtotally calling the police.

22
Feb
08

Sprint Fires YOU!





Some things just never cease to amaze me. Ok I get it- Sometimes we just have enough of idiot customers and in many cases we secretly wish that we could just ship them all off to some deserted place and have them be gone! But it is seldom the case when a major company makes a philosophical stance about dealing with idiots that complain too much. In the case of Sprint, the bosses in the ivory tower decided “Screw ‘Em!!!”
Most of us have seen it or had to deal with a customer who just always has expectation that are out of reach and not even reasonable but as a boss that is pretty up there I just tell my teams hey- deal with it and I will back you. I just think that if your whole company takes the stance of— “if WE think you complain too much, guess what, we are done with you because we choose to tell you that to us customer service means not hearing your gripes!”

Great Job Sprint!

22
Feb
08

And Back to Tasteless Tabloid Jazz….

761-Hathaway3



Anne Hathaway stories are my favorite, because they give me an excuse to post pictures of Anne Hathaway.  She’s set to star in Bride Wars, opposite Kate Hudson, who tried to kill Owen Wilson by being a prude or something.



Hathaway and Hudson will play best friends who are pitted against each other when their wedding dates clash. They compete for venues, services and guests, once it’s clear that neither will step aside. [Variety]


Chicks don’t know how to fight.  Everyone knows that when you disagree with someone, you strip to your skivvies and wrestle.  But oil up first, because it looks manlier, and that’s important.  Either way, this movie sounds dumb, but I don’t care because Anne Hathaway’s boobs made me forget what I was going to type next.


If you took a picture of me looking at a picture of Anne Hathaway, and zoomed in close enough to see inside my heart, you’d see Knüt and a bunch of other baby polar bears baking brownies and batting a beach ball back and forth with their noses.  Also, it would distract you from my giant boner.

22
Feb
08

Sensualism

 


In_your_room


 


“In modern times,” Vladimir Nabokov once observed, “the term ‘pornography’ connotes mediocrity, commercialism and certain strict rules of narration: obscenity must be mated with banality because every kind of esthetic enjoyment has to be entirely replaced by simple sexual stimulation.”


“Thus, in pornographic novels,” he added, “action has to be limited to the copulation of cliches. Style, structure, imagery should never distract the reader from his tepid lust. The novel must consist of an alternation of sexual scenes.”


The genious V. Nabokov hits it right on the head with this take. We have lost our imagination. We have failed our own inner passions and as with everything else in our present we lack patience. We talk about foreplay and long strolls but make do with a drunken kiss and the walk of shame.


So here I am to make my grand stand against the enemies of word play, double entendres, multilingual puns, anagrams, and coinages. I stand on the platform of all that is still sexy, sweet, sensual and real.


Annabel Lee


It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of ANNABEL LEE;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me-
Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

22
Feb
08

WTF – I think we may have a problem here!

WTF —- found on C’s List: